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if your stomach feels weak then my work here is done. 
When in doubt, google that shit :) 
he really cares about me. i don't know how to let him down. he wants me, and he wants me to want him. he tried to tell me a million times today that there's nothing he wants more than me. i changed the subject. i really couldn't deal with letting him down again. he's a sweet kid, he treats me well, we're comfortable around each other, but we're just not right. i hate decisions, i'm bad at them. i hate goodbyes too. change is not welcome here. good or bad, i have a hard time dealing with it. i guess it's hard to understand. i'm totally random and babbling right now. he sang the lyrics to wonderwall to me while holding my hands and looking me in the eyes, it was the sweetest thing. but i don't want him. life's a stinker sometimes. everybody and everything i love goes away at some point. the only thing that's lasting with me right now is my family, my best friend in the entire world, my dog, and God. i know for a fact i'll always have at least one of those things, God never leaves you. besides that, i'm scared for the day when i lose all the rest. change and i, do not get along 
One day, his name just didn't make me smile anymore. 
 
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| hey guyss thanks for commenting on the last post, that bitchhh is done. haa i put her in her place. :) heres a short update. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WANT TO SEEE ! 
I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks
in our strollers together in the park. When we were two, we were best friends,
I mean, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color.
I knew her favorite food. Then we became six, you know, and Eric made
fun of me because it wasn't cool to have a bestfriend that was a girl,
or even know a girl, so for the next seven years, i threw dirt at her.
I like to call those "the lost years." Then when i was thirteen, mom,
she put me up against a locker and she kissed me. I mean,
she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance.
She was always talking about these crazy things and I
never understood a word she said. All I understood was
that she was the girl that I sat up every night thinking about,
and when I'm with her, I feel happy to be alive, like I can
do anything; even talk to you like this. So that's what i feel
is love, mom. When I'm better because she's here. - Boy Meets World <3 
he said "I never meant to hurt you..."
and before he could go on, I finished with
"I never ment to fall in love with you, but hey
look!, we all make mistakes." 
ikno sorrrry its so short but idnt have time right now. i promise if i get 3 good comments i'll really update ! <3333 | | |
| seriously ?! why are girls such bitches. gahhhh. this girl whom i've NEVER met texted me today pretending to be my ex bf, and after i sent him this sexxxxxy ass picture of me she(pretending to be him) asks me if i'm single nd i'm like yesssir you? nd shes like "no actually hes not, & this has been his girlfriend the whole time" LIKE WHAT THE FUCKKK! who does that?! she wanted to know if he flirts with me, yet she trusts him 190% dude fkkkkn ask him. damn. she caused all this drama, it was actually pretty funny. & yet she proceeds to tell me shes not a bitch you wanna mess with, oh hell no she has another thing coming, i replied and she hasnt said a word. NOW WHAT BITCHHHH ! i told her i'd like to see her bring it cause i didn't start this, she did it all. hahahha. i think its funny. do you guys have any advice ? has anyone experienced anything like this? <3333 | | |
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&& when she breaks down your gunna realize that you were the jerk that did this to her, && one day you will realize why every little thing you did to her hurt so much. 
He doesn't even need a reason to break my heart anymore.
There is no other girl, there is no big fight to blame it on.
There is no sense in any of it.
He does it because he can. 
i'd rather chew on broken glass
than keep on living in the past,
&& wasting time on words i know you didn't mean 
be lucky to have him as a friend because if
you & him date & then break up, that
friendship will never be the same. & in those
months that you don't have him as a friend..
those will be the months you need him the
most, & you won't have him. he's a great friend,
so don't wish for more than you have because
you have it better than anyone to have him be
your best friend 
Blood means you're related;
it doesn't mean you're family. 
You get to her. You make her cry late at night.
You make her scream at the top of her lungs.
You make her second guess everything you say.
But she's not about to admit it to you.
Her pride is too strong. But really,
would it matter anyways? 
People say i have my BLONDE MOMENTS,
I have to admit its true . . . but the
DUMBEST ONE i've had - - was
when I said "yes" to someone like you . . . 
At least three weaks of bottled up tears came pouring out last night.
My head pounded & my eyes hurt. It wasn't like I needed to cry for three weeks;
I have actually been happy for awhile, but everything just built up too high & caused me to crash again
- just when I was starting to do so good. 
A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately, he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you.
( He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo )what do you want me to say? that i’m hurt?you already know i’m hurt. do you want me to tell you i’m angry? you already know that as well.i don’t have anything to say.i just want to know when exactly you decided that it was okay if you broke my heart. </3 
I love those warm, loving hugs you give me. Those times you just smile. Smile at me. I know you're not mine, but I love you all the same. Why? I don't know. It’s just.. I think I found a certain comfort in you that I found nowhere else. A certain laugh that I never had before, and a certain joy in my life that I could never try to explain. To anyone. 
I wish you would just open your eyes & see what you`re losing. I mean ; it`s me. The person you felt you could "stay with forever." & of course, I wonder what happened. What person wouldn`t? But I just wonder if you even think about making it better? We both screwed up ; a lot, but I can`t forgive you for what you did. You didn`t even make an attempt on making it better. You just let me go. 
^ haaaa that got me. He lied to you a thousand times.
He hurt you twice as much as that.
& you’re gonna tell me you still love him?
For what, breaking your heart? 
&& i dont actually love you
i just love the idea of you.
i miss who you used to be. 
bitches like me live like queens,
sluts like you live on your knees 
instead of talking crap about me and
glancing in my direction every two seconds,
why don't you just admit that you're
jealous. and move on! =] <3333 i'm trying the whole updating thing. whatcha think !? i kinda like it, do you like my stuff? | | |
| so i realllllllllllly realllly like the songs FireFlies by OwlCity, Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson && I want this forever by LilWayne. my new addictions. :) you should check 'em out ! 
no girl should ever forget that she doesn't need someone
who doesn't need her.  
I quit. I’m over you. I fell so hard.
I was always there when you needed to talk to someone.
So basically, I’m tired of being just a friend or chasing you.
So if you want me, I’m here. But I’m done wasting all my
time on someone who doesn’t care. 
Memories won't leave my mind; it hurts to leave this all behind.
Staying now won't make it so, my heart is saying don't let go.  
We know ourselves better than anyone else, and that is why it is so frightening to let someone else in. We know things about ourselves that are not pleasant, that are not kind. There are things about us that we fear letting others know but eventually someone will get in. Someone will get in and discover every last one of these traits. And they won't care one bit, they'll love you because of them. 
in the end, we always go back to the people that
were there in the beginning. 
I love that feeling. You know, the one you get when you take a deep breath and suddenly everything feels like it's going to be okay. When you're hopeless as can be, and life is going nowhere, there's those moments we have every now and then where we just stop, and we get this feeling, that can't be described, but you just.. you just feel like everything really is going to be okay. Like the world stopped spinning for a second, and everything was clear. I need more of those moments. 
-learn to be lonely. 
as I stand here looking at you, I wonder if there`ll ever be a day when I can get over your smile? When I`ll let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel? A day when I forget the words you said to me? Forget what you meant to me or forget how much I love you? But no matter what you did to me, whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go or forget you. 
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. 
I don't know why I don't need a reason
When I look your eyes, my heart stops beating
I've finally found something worth to put me through
And I won't give up until I stop breathing 
lift her up as high as you can if shes worth it, break her down & leave her for dead if she isn't. 
I do understand the impulse.The impulse to put your hand out and want someone to be there at the end of your reach. To want someone to be close to. To want to kiss or touch even if it’s wrong. The point is you can’t control these feelings. Even if they’re wrong, they’re there.They’re always there. 
Every smile you fake is so condescending counting all the scars you made 
One day, his name just didn't make me smile anymore. <33333 | | |
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